Things I learned the hard way.

Things I learned the hard way.

This is by no means a subtle way to impose that I’ve had much experience in life. Nor it is a subconscious attempt to try to be funny. It is what it is. It is just pure cold facts and things that I learned the hard way for the past years of my life.

1. Always be courteous. Never tells a woman she weighs less than she looks. You might think that you’re trying to calm her insecurity by insinuating that she’s not as heavy as the crazy voices in her head tell her. Just don’t, dude. Don’t. You’re going to thank me later.

2. It’s imperative that you never tell a woman she’s like her mother. Your intention, however noble, whether or not it was meant to be a compliment or constructive criticism will never be understood. They never take it how you wanted it to be. You get better result by jamming a spork in your left nut. I kid you not.

3. No matter what incident precedes, there is never an appropriate moment to ask a girl, “Did you just pee on me?” No matter what the situation is. Period.

4. Just because your good looking metro sexual straight buddy pissed at a bar when he’s drunk doesn’t make it okay for you to do the same. It might feel liberating and you get a good “that one time, I was shitfaced…” story but don’t be that asshole. But then again, maybe you should for one time thing kinda deal. We don’t have a million years anyway.

5. Never ever let another man lick your face. The morning after is much more awkward than waking up to your housemate and his girlfriend naked on your bedroom floor. Yeah, it was that bad.

6. Don’t be a smart ass. There’s nothing wrong with being polite. Speak in a dignified manner. Especially when you’re being interrogated by an FBI agent for being a suspected terrorist. It’s much easier to explain the credit card charges for those strip club visits. You sound a lot more convincing when you’re trying to explain that you’re taking Chemistry for the love of Quantum Mechanics instead of possible extremists recruit.

7. Pay your entertainment with cash. Refer to no.6 for possible consequences.

8. Appreciate and love your family. The same goes with your friends and acquaintances. Your time with them is pretty much limited. You don’t really know what’s going to happen tomorrow. Treat and respect others the way you wanted to be in return.

9. You’ll get your heart broken. That’s a fact. There’s really no way around it. Unless you’re okay living the rest of your life playing World of Warcraft or Atlantica Online. But it’s okay, really. Heartbreaks, no matter how painful are a crucial element in living. You cannot go through life without it.

10. Live moderately. Take what only yours and what you only need. Do not be enslaved to materialistic possessions. Don’t care much about money or compensation. They’re only means to help you live. Don’t be greedy. The easiest kind of men to manipulate is the ones who are greedy.

11. Always be tactful and diplomatic. Learn the timing of when to bow down, bow out and when to hold your head up high. There are many ways to do things, but pick the way that best bring you to the end result.

12. Be self sufficient. Try not to depend much on others.

13. Bad deeds no matter how small will come back and haunt you. And they bite hard.

14. Do not be afraid of changes and differences. We are all the same really. Learn to see the world with unclouded and unjudgemental(I’m not even sure if that’s a real word) eyes. The world is rapidly changing. So is humanity. Learn to adapt and be flexible.

15. Learn to love your every strength and your every flaw. They’re the things that make you unique.

16. There are really no blue prints in life. One day you might be on your route to do your PhD in Chemistry and then the next day you’ll wake up as a trader in a Japanese company. There’s only so much a man can do to construct his own destiny. I think that was from Socrates. He’s dead now but he was a wise man.

17. If you ever found someone who is crazy enough to love you, care for you and be with you in good times or bad, hold on to that one for as long as you can. Unless she was already married and had a baby. Then she’s probably just a plain insecure nutjob. But then again….it might still be worth it, I don’t know.

18. If you’re in the dating scene, don’t get too obsessed with the game. Don’t care too much about the numbers of people you date or how you have mad skills to lure and manipulate beautiful girls. How big of a player you can be etc etc etc. At the end of the day, you will feel completely empty. You are no different than those douchebags with popped collars and spiked hairs who try so hard to be beautiful to impress others. And yeah, don’t be those douchebags.

19. Learn to take your time. Life takes time. You don’t necessarily get what you want but be careful of what you wish for. Some things are just not meant to be yours. And learn to let go.

20. You are beautiful. As a person. Either you’re a man or a woman. Or maybe both. You really are. At times you might even wonder why people even bother to talk to you. The answer is always simple. For the same reason you always want to reach out to someone else. The pleasure of the company.